on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
