PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
