did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
