ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
