the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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