Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
