rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
