i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
