Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
