I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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