I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
