I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
