Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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