Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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