At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Quick, to the slutcave!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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