I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
