I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
