I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
