life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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