just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
