What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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