i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
