drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
