kristin has been a bad kristin
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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