haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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