god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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