There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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