We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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