what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
