And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
