I think my fart just growled at me.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
