So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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