literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
