In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize