I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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