Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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