If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
