69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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