so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
