They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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