i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
