I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
