Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
