I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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