"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
