what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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