Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm passing your future prison.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
