So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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