super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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