What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
