I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
