Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
