I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
