This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
