And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
