Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
