While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
