If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize