so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
