it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize