At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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