she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
