i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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