stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
