And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
