Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You pole danced in your parka.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
