After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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