question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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