dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
