If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
