you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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