It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
did i walk over a car last night?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
